Author and physician Alan Beck said, “The family is a storehouse in which the world’s finest treasures are kept. Yet the purest gold you’ll find there is golden laughter. The most precious silver is in the hair of Mom and Dad. The family’s only real diamond is on Mother’s left hand, yet it can sparkle like children’s eyes at Christmas or shine half as bright as the candles on a birthday cake.”
Thomas Jefferson noted that “the happiness of the domestic fireplace is the first boon of heaven.”
Edgar Guest is known for his quip: “It takes a heap ‘o living’ to make a house a home.”
In our previous posts on the building of a home, I noted that Christ and His wisdom–the wisdom needed for right resolves—is the foundation necessary for building a home that will not be swept away by the storms of life. We also saw that, as wise King Solomon posited, we need understanding to cultivate right relationships. (Provs. 24:3,4)
Today, I want to discuss the third vital ingredient in establishing a home that will last—its furnishings, which require knowledge and produce pleasant riches. Solomon put it this way: “In the house of the righteous is much treasure.” (Provs.24:34)
We will need wisdom for right resolves; understanding for right relationships; and knowledge for the right stewardship of life’s most precious treasures, our children. In Psalms, sons are presented as plants grown up in their youth; daughters are polished cornerstones, the ingredients in our homes that will add beauty, grace and adornment. (Ps.144:11,12)
So, consider the rearing of our children.
We will need knowledge for administering discipline that is both biblical and loving. Solomon instructed us that if we will train up a child in the way that he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it. (Provs.22:6). Discipline of children is both biblical and practical. It is a principle underscored in the New Testament when, in Hebrews 12:11, we read that chastening yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness. Again, Solomon said that we should “chasten thy son while there is hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” (Provs. 19:18) Other points that are germane from the wise king’s pen can be pondered by reading Provs.13:24; 29:15,17; 23:13,14; and 21:11.
How are you doing in this critical area of discipline? Here are some questions that might help: (1) Do you have to tell your child more than once to do something? (2) Does your child fail to answer immediately and respectfully when you or some other authority figure, address him or her? (3) Has your child gotten the impression that he or she can sometimes get away with disobedience? (4) Do you seldom or ever hear your child say, “I’m sorry”? (5) Do you sometimes allow your child to withdraw in silence when she fails to get her way? (I can provide you with a complete list of about 20 questions but for space in this post I have only listed a few: reply and ask for self-test questions and I will be glad to share the remaining with you).
A great pastor of yesteryear, T. Dewitt Talmadge wisely said, “The reason we don’t succeed with our children in reclaiming all of them from worldliness is because we begin too late. Parents wait until their children lie before they teach them the value of truth. They wait until they swear before they teach them the value of righteous conversation. They wait until their children are all wrapped up in this world before they tell them of a better world. Too late with your prayers. Too late with your discipline. Too late with your benediction. You put all your care upon your children between 12 and 18. Why do you not put the chief care between 4 and 9? It is too late to repair a vessel when it has got out of the dry dock.”
Discipline is a priority and it is also productive. God will honor the parent who honors God and He will honor the child who is taught to honor his parents. The late evangelist Phil Shuler once said, “My brother Jack did not obey his parents, did not honor his parents and at 45 he was dead.” Radio evangelist and author Oliver B. Greene, who died in his 50’s’ also testified that he did not honor his parents. Discipline is productive in many ways. It should, therefore, be a practice. Practiced righteously, discipline is motivated by obedience, bathed in love, administered in reason and accompanied by affirmation. It should be not only righteous but regular, consistent.
One-time newspaper columnist, Ann Landers, once asked 10,000 of her readers whether–if they could do it over–they would have children. She said that 70% of those who responded said they would choose not to have children.
One exasperated mother wrote: “Anger is not really what I feel. It’s alienation. Turn off. I feel in kind of a sad, resigned way, that the past 20 years were a total waste. My husband and I have nothing to show for it. It’s not that we’re sitting around crying. We have jobs, travel, live full lives, but the child raising part of our lives was a waste because the kids are nothing. Just nothing.”
One can only hope that the aforementioned parental remonstrance is the exception! It should be–and will be, if biblical principles concerning the rearing and training of our children are followed.
No parent would boast of having done a perfect job. Even Solomon– who gave good, God -inspired counsel–failed in many respects, but that does not lessen our responsibility, nor does it minimize in a loving parent’s heart the desire to get it right knowing that we only have one opportunity at it.
I close this solemn discussion with something a bit amusing (at least I thought it was): “A young preacher, still single and in college, became known for his sermon, ‘The Ten Commandments for Rearing Children.’ After college he was married. Two years later he and his wife were blessed with their first child. He vigorously preached the sermon until the little bundle of joy was 2 years old. Then he changed the title to ‘Ten Rules for Rearing Children.’ When the child went to grammar school, he changed the title again to ‘Ten Suggestions for Rearing Children.’ When the youngster went to Junior High school, the title became ‘Ten Helpful Hints for Rearing Children.’ At last count, since his child entered high school, he has not preached his famous sermon!” Selah!
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph.6:1,4)
YOU and GOD 