In Her Own Words

On Christmas Day, 2000, Rick and Jennifer Wilkerson were hit on the passenger side of their car in a snow-related crash that left Jennifer—after multiple surgeries and months in three different hospitals—with minimal upper-body movement and complete paralysis from her waist down. Jennifer shared their story in A Hope and a Future, a booklet she wrote 15 years after this life-altering event.

Through excerpts from this testimony, I want to let Jennifer open her heart up with insights gained from something that neither she nor her devoted husband, Rick, both faithful servants of God, would have ever asked for. Yet both trust that God, who is daily guiding and guarding them through life’s journey—one day at a time, one moment at a time—allowed it. Hear Jennifer’s insights in her own words:

Everyday Stuff—“The hardest part of living like this is seeing how my appearance has changed. I often don’t like the way I look in clothes, and my swollen feet prevent me from wearing most kinds of shoes. Then there’s my protruding ‘quad belly’ caused by lack of muscle control and an overly curved spine.

Little (and Big!) Victories—Ever since childhood I couldn’t even swallow an aspirin. By the end of my hospital stay I was taking medication five times a day and knew this had to change. So…Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” NKJV) was quoted every time a pill was swallowed whole. I can take as many as eleven with a few gulps of water without a second thought!

Pain—A condition called autonomic dysreflexia, which affects some spinal cord patients, is a frequent intruder in my life. Below my shoulders I have some sensations but cannot (with one exception) consciously feel pain. If something happens to my body in this area (such as a sore) that would normally cause pain or discomfort, I sometimes start to sweat, at times profusely. The exception I just mentioned is a constant companion—nerve pain (neuropathy) similar to that which diabetics struggle with. Why do spinal cord-injured people struggle with these symptoms? Well, compare the human body’s nerves to its wiring. When an injury happens that disturbs these nerves, they get confused and ‘short circuit.’

Matters of the Heart—The accident, though not consciously remembered, has nevertheless had a profound effect upon my emotional well-being. Undoubtedly the accident scene that day was jarring to my senses, with the harsh sirens and glare of headlights coming from multiple vehicles. To this day, exposure to the cold (especially when combined with bright lights and loud noises) frequently causes anxiety. I still have a vivid memory of a day shortly before I came home from the hospital when I looked directly at the sun, closed my eyes and (literally) soaked it in as it infused me with strength, courage and reassurance. Ever since then, I crave the sun on my face.

I longed so much to be able to get down on the floor and hold our dog, ‘Mr. Bear,’ who was the closest thing I’d ever had to a child at that time.* After his death, we adopted ‘George,’ who I eventually bonded with as well, but there were still many things we could not do together.

Relationships—Over the past years, many have commented about what a good ‘support system’ I have. Relationships have certainly become deeper as others see the ‘real me,’ stripped of pretension (and make-up!). Memories of waking up and weepy after too much morphine, and friends helping with my nursing care come to mind. And, I often have had (many more times than I want to admit) a micro-managing, demanding, controlling and selfish mindset.

Trusting—For a long time, I’ve been a planner and assumed that I was the one who arranged for all my needs to be met. When much of my life suddenly became very dependent on others and there were so many circumstances that I had no control over—it was frustrating—but at the same time actually freeing as I learned to receive God-given ‘manna’ each day.

Meaning—A friend told me one day that he was almost jealous because I’d had the chance to know Jesus in a way that many others do not. It is true that the spiritual and emotional growth He has brought about through all this would not have happened any other way! My walk with Him is so much closer, and life is so more meaningful.

Purpose—I’ve had to confront my purposes in life and realize God’s purpose instead! I’ve had to learn that there is something much bigger than myself going on here, and although the present (earth) is the only reality we’ve known, the future (eternity) is vastly more important.

‘Life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in heaven…God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness.’ (Note: These words are from Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life, published by Zondervan, used by permission. Rick Warren’s excerpts used here express the message I’m trying to convey so well! However, I do not always agree with his views on other topics. JW)

To Be Continued…

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

*Jennifer was 35 years old when the crippling crash occurred.