Roughly 14 percent of the U.S. population suffers with one or more disabilities. That’s 44 million people. Local churches are privileged to minister the Word of God weekly to those amongst us who have “special needs” related to their particular disability or handicap. Most churches have at least one or two people in any given service who may require special attention. Some special needs are manifest in physical limitations; some are because of personality disorders. The question is whether our local bodies of believers are equipped to minister effectively to them.
Our church has been blessed through many decades by the ministry of Mrs. Shelli Grossman, who headed up the Special Needs Education Department of the Indianapolis Public Schools. A graduate of Tennessee Temple University with postgraduate degrees from Indiana University, Shelli is a dedicated teacher of children in our church-time ministry. Her expertise in meeting the needs of those who are physically or mentally challenged has been a blessing to scores of worshippers—who require individual help—over the past several decades.
I have tapped into the wealth of insights that Mrs. Grossman can offer. Here are her answers to a few basic questions that all of us who communicate God’s Word in a teaching forum might have as we attempt to reach every student in our classes:
1. What are some things that we should remember to do when reaching and teaching those who have special needs?
“Treat everybody the same. If we have someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia in our church, we probably knew them before they acquired their condition, so we should keep our relationship as it was prior to the disability affecting them. Now, can they hold up their end of our relationship? Not at all. But we can.
Also, if a child has a cognitive disability, they need to go with their age-appropriate peers. ‘They have the mind of a 4-year-old’ is such an offensive statement to make. They may have delays, but their bodies grow at the normal rate.”
2. How about some things not to do?
“I think the worst thing we can do is avoid the person with a disability, or the parents who have a child or family member with a special need. Many people are not comfortable interacting with someone with a disability, so we avoid making eye contact, introducing ourselves, or including them in conversations. If you can’t do it, then you can’t do it; but know that God made each of us with our limitations, disabilities, and giftedness.
Be careful of vocabulary. Think of yourself. Do you want to be known as ‘afflicted,’ or ‘retarded,’ or ‘wheelchair bound?’ Of course not. ‘Retarded’ is a widely abused word. I have heard good Christian people refer to themselves, when they do something silly or clumsy, as ‘Oh, I’m so retarded!’ Teens today quickly say, ‘That’s so retarded!’ What we have to think is, that word refers to a group of precious people God made just the way they are. While people say they are not referring to people who have a cognitive disability, they are still making fun of people.
Then, too, several disabilities leave people without the ability to speak words. Cerebral palsy is the most common condition from birth. As adults, mouth and neck cancers often leave people without a voice, as can Parkinson’s and ALS. If people cannot speak, don’t ask them questions! Statements are much more respectful. Even ‘Hi, how are you today?’ cannot be answered. Better is: ‘It’s a great day in the Lord,’ or ‘The Lord has given us another beautiful Sunday.’”
3. Some further basic considerations:
“Many children are born with special needs, and they have professionals all over them. They come home from the hospital, sometimes after weeks or even months. Families must address their every need all day and throughout the night. The child is conditioned to think, ‘the world revolves around me.’ Children get used to constant care and attention and sometimes show loud or aggressive behaviors if they don’t get attention. This child may be headed for behavioral battles with siblings, extended family members, and social personnel. Churches may need to have a designated person be with that child to keep them content, safe, and included. This may be the only way the family is able to worship in peace.”
4. The most important factors:
1. “If they are adults, treat them as you would any adult. Talk to them just like you want to be treated—make normal conversation with them.
2. If a child has a disability, and they are one or two years old, you can talk ‘baby talk’ to them. But if they are 4 and beyond, talk to them as you would any other child that same age. Baby talk is for babies.
3. If we see the disability instead of the child, we tend to keep them in classrooms too long. If the child is 3 or 4, they should not be in a classroom for 2- and 3 year-old children. They will model the behaviors they see. Most churches have classrooms for a variety of age children. Keep the children with disabilities in age-appropriate classrooms. We may think the child will not understand what is being taught, but we don’t have the right to make such assumptions.
4. ‘People First Language’ exists to help us be respectful and think about what we are about to say. A person is not ‘wheelchair bound;’ in fact, no one is bound to a wheelchair. Refer to the person first, not their disability: ‘a man who uses a wheelchair’ is far more respectful and caring. A blind boy should be a boy with visual impairment. An autistic girl is really a girl with autism. God made the people first; they just may also have a disability.
“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” (Ps. 139:13,14)